Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

Your mom is so fat...

Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

how do you confuse a blond?

Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

Nicolas Cage

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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