Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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