roses are black violets are black im blind

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

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your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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i dont like attention whores lol

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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Dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa

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What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

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Tell me a joke Tell me a joke! TELL ME A JOKE!!! ...Womens Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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