Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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TWIX PAUSE!

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

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knock knock Labrinth come in

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

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Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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A. Your mamma is so stuiped she starved to death in a grocary store.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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