What's faster than a black man with a TV? Light.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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Your mom is so fat...

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

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Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops