Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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sdasdadasdasd

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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soccor

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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