What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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knock knock go away

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

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whats red and falls from a tree an apple

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

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What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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