?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Black Friday

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops