There was a cat, an astronaut and a nun. The cat was sleeping, the astronaut was floating, and the nun was praying. There was a singer, a dancer and an actor. The singer was singing, the dancer was dancing, and the actor was acting.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

once upon a time there was a boy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

press Ctrl and F4 on ur key pad

thumb_up thumb_down -10

IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Membean

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops