Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

hey

Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

Two english guys meet at work

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...