How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

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like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

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Your mom.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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She said no

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

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What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops