What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Harry Styles

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Aladdin found a rusty old lamp at the foot of a mountain. He rubbed it and the Ginnie had died after the long drop from the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -7

poop is very very yummy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Needless to say,

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

all these jokes suck ass

thumb_up thumb_down -7

69

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops