Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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Michael Brown

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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