"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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Q: wanna hear a racist joke? A: sure RB: You're pathetic!

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

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Jersey Shore

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Woman's rights.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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