if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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poo

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Patriarchy.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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Nippies

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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