What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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7

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I would rape her

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A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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