What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My name is Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Mrs. Welsh

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -7

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who lost World War II? The Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops