what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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You have cancer

Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

Your mums a penis joke.

Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

i saw your mom, i said hi

what do u call a gay dinosaur megasoreass

Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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