A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

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Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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Spotto

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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melon

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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A guy says a joke. It was not funny

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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