how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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What sentence on this site is the biggest cause of forever alone. "No comments yet. Be the first"

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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