What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

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I pooped my pants

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What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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pickle sniffer

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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