Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

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colby doesnt shave

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who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Neither does he.

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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