Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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Muslim athletes.

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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