I was Writing and i broke my pencil

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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what's the difference between a black man and a lift? both can raise babies, a part from the black man

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Why did the jew die Really...

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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