Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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Whats better than an anti joke? Having sex with a supermodle

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

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Maturity is a virtue.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

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a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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