4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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Maturity is a virtue.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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This is a joke

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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Once upon a cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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