I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the meaning of life? 42

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? The answer really isn't that important.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Ya mama so fat when she went on an elevater she had no chose but to go down Hahaha I'm so so funny haha Awesome mon yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I hate black people. Because their black.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops