What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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There once was a man from Kentucky...then he raped everyone in sight... THE END

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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What happens when a PC gamer without a mic rages? ASDKFHQIUEWHASKZNF9324Y8PTWFSDIUHASDFADSFUFKASJDF843QADKJVNCXT%$W(ESDHDSFAAASDFASKLDFU8EWADSdsfalsdkjfhuewanzxcAJSKDFUIEW

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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