Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Niki Minaj's ass

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops