What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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Remember when they called online casino`s betting sport? Anti Joke potential detected. I used to play soccer and box back then, but I guess I was still not "sporty" enough for betting sports... And as thus I afforded my lawyer education. Moral: Now that you know my education, do you really think id ever type real morals here? Mwahahahaha!

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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