Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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What did the Black guy, the Asian, and the White guy have in common? they were all brutally murdered.

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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