If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

thumb_up thumb_down -12

ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black cop? Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops