"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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i like pie.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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knock knock piss off

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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