What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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This is not an anti joke.

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why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

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Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops