A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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No.

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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I was born.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

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What starts with P and ends with orn? Porn

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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Netflix and chill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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