Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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Potassium? K.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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A man walks into a bar. ouch.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Womens' Rights

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Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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