What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

Some people like melon and others like soup.

What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

trumpy trumpy trump

What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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