- Anti Joke

What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

Hi

brandon ya twwat

roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

my name is Jacob sartorious

I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

Woha! Girl! Its not about the father figure thing, I always saw you as my sister, and well, my really hot little sister but sister still so you know... All ill thoughts where purged before they formed, anyway the point is I am you know... KINDA into a marriage and... Ugh, I feel really really sad, its not you, I just get extremely emotional on these pills, I told Alice to not add Zopiclone into the mix, but I wont break her fingers for wanting to take care of me, its just that Zopiclone makes me so damn sad... Ugh... On the bright side, my face looks pretty good actually, I always needed a scar or two there for manliness, I mean lets be honest, a babyface does not exactly inspire respect if you get my deal, so if you worry about seeing a burn victim or worse, at least my face wont look that way. Details aside, I have pretty much know you feel something extra for me for... A year maybe? I apreciate you sharing that with me, and id be lying if I said you arent the sweetest girl I know, I am glad my wife is not the jealous type when I say this... ...I always wanted to say that you have the face of an angel and the body of a Godess, and am ashamed to say I never thought you would turn out that sweet, kind and smart considering girls as hot as you (well you are a woman now) do not statistically tend to end up as... What profession did you have again? Like six doctor degrees? Was it bioscience or something? It does not matter, sister, daughter potential fuck (sorry, as you said, I say whats on my mind but that was a joke I could not nah... Nope you are my baby sister as far as my thoughts go hope thats fine) Uh, wow this is hard saying, but speaking about sex, my uh, manhood is operational, considering Alice does not know how to hug me without sinking my face into her huge tits (I told her I am sorry, but she wont stop laughing so I guess its okay) Cough, yeah my shadows are really quick about it, you should get the cash in an hour or less, I always keep a few around you and your family, and while they do spy on you (should have told you) its just for your security, believe me, these guys are pros, I mean they say I trained them, but I learned as much from them as them from me, if not more. Uh, honestly I hope you got no, you know, dreams about you and me, I mean I love you but, I have for years felt pretty bad about considering you my sister and still my mind (mostly in dreams) going "well maybe if you keep in mind you are not related" and then again going "NO I CANT THINK LIKE THAT!" To you know... Among other things cheat on my wife... Its not cheating if you ask for permission... She knows who she got married to. Why am I saying this? Sorry, I wont delete it all though, its you after all, Alice is worried about me posting this online, it hurts to laugh, but she apparently does not know me, id say this on a speaker, publically. Eliza this is "Alice", you know me from the same meeting as Neo-Nero, I was kinda going out with him (Neo) Back then, people thought I too died, but it was to keep me safe, just want to add that we all really miss you, and that Nero is more worried about what he is making me type than me, sorry about adding zopiclone into his pills, I mean I do not care if he is used to pain! He was crying out in pain during his sleep for fucks sake!

What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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