How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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69

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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