what's brown and sticky? A stick

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ass in my face ? no

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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shea kisses a girl

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You

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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Muslim athletes.

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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