so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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#scabbers

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four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

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A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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