What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -11

SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops