Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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Guess what? Holocaust

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Patriarchy.

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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I never asked for this.

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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69

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Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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