Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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She said no

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

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What did one hater say to the other hater? I hate you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What's worse than eating cows. Death

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops