How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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You.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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women's rights

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Why did the imagrint cross the road? Cuz he stole the chickin's job.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

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3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

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Think of your favorite joke. Thats so weird! Thats exactly the same as this joke!

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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