girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

Badgers are cool

Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

The BCS

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

7

what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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