Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"You two form fours while I get the other one"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

This is not an anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I just can't stand sitting down!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your father died

thumb_up thumb_down +12

lybia

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops