A man walks into a bar. ouch.

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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Breast cancer.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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Welcome to die!

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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