what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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