Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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A man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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Breast cancer.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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Welcome to die!

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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