Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

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What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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how hight is a china man ? derr his name is how high and he is a china man

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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wanna here an anti joke scroll down

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar

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There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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