What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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