kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a cannibal.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

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What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops