How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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ginger

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why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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