Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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A man walks into a bar and starts telling anti-jokes to his friend. His friend is a follower and laughs even though they aren't funny.

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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69

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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