What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

i like tits

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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