I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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