hey

why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

"Sorry, our servers are being derpy right now. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." "Couldn't find the lulz you were looking for. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." HORSEHEAD NETWORK... YOU CANT HANDLE THE LULZ! MORAL MAN!

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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