Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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