Wanna hear a joke? Denver Broncos.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

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What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

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what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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i dont like chris

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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